At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have feelings that need drinking.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!