is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.