I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
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no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
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Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...