D3 body, D1 cock
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
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Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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