I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The struggles of a small town man whore
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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