Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
