shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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