Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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