i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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