ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
