It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize