He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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