I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
