tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
