She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
