as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
