I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
