Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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