weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
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