He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
did you just send me my own nude
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
