did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
ttyl tear gas
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
