I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
