One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he shaved USA in his pubs
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
