Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
