You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
