You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
