You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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