My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there was a trapeze. enough said
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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