it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
