she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
