Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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