chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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