I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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