Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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