Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
