y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
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No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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