My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
