His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I will pee on everything he values.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
