dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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