i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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