Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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