the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
