hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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