imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
