In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
