Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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