i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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