dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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