Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
