she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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