New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
