He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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