would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
