Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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