so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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