I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
