We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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