Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
