Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
