So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I smell stomach acid.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
