I want to have your abortion
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
