After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
